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Below are the 8 most recent journal entries.

	2008.10.24  23.27 Lilith. You have twenty-four hours.

	2008.10.07  02.16 A philosophical question to consider: if Jesus had been born a woman, would she still have been accepted as the Messiah? Would she have made it to thirteen unmarried? Would her father (her real father, no offense to any divine sperm donors) have taught her carpentry? Would the Apostles have been women as well, or would there have been a mix, or would they have been the same individuals? And more importantly, would there still be branches of Christianity lining up to drink her blood? I imagine that they would take at least a week off every month.

	2008.09.06  01.09 It seems that, with God having abdicated the Papal throne by way of teleportation, a new Pope will soon be elected. I can only assume that, being both Jewish and quasi-demonic, I will soon be out on my ear. I did enjoy annoying the bishops by making them walk diagonally, though.

	2008.08.29  02.03 I've arranged a babysitter. I've made reservations at a very nice restaurant and at an even nicer hotel. I'm going to take the woman I love out of the house for the night, wine her, dine her, and then fuck her until I pass out from exhaustion. Since I don't have a body, as such, this may take some time. Anyone who is under the mistaken impression that they need either of us is invited to introduce themselves bodily to the business end of a deep chasm.

	2008.07.08  21.21 The rate of sudden impulse marriages brought on by unexplained affection for strangers has ebbed, but the rate of marriage in general continues to flow. Those of you concerned about the prospect of a newly married Lucifer defiling the so-called sanctity of marriage can breathe easy, for the odds of (as Lilith might put it) this bitch being united with another in the bonds of holy anything are low. But then, I've been wrong before.

	2008.02.01  02.32 ( Mary, Thor, Justice )

	2008.01.21  03.55 Things that affected me this past week include: -Being struck inexplicably nude. -Leading a song and dance number with the Almighty to the tune of The Jackson Five's "ABC". -Randomly channeling the personality of a someone who spoke in exclusively one-word sentences. Loudly. -Randomly channeling a chatterbox so perky and hyper that, were I mortal, I would kill myself to prevent it from happening again. Things that I retained through all this: -The common sense not to tell the world when these particular afflictions descended upon me.

	2008.01.13  23.27 To whom it concerns: Kindly stop trying to sell me your soul. I don't want your soul. And being summoned through Dark Magics is most annoying. "Come, Lord Lucifer," et cetera, et cetera. The being you're attempting to summon is named Satan. Satan. And don't summon her, either. There's a reason it's called "a deal with the devil." It invariably comes back to bite you in the ass. Moreover, do you have any idea how rude it is to just summon a divine being? When you're talking to God, you pray. When you're talking to Jesus, you pray. When you're talking to an angel, you summon? I am not your servant. I'm not asking for prayer. I don't want prayer. A phone call would suffice. I'm listed. Furthermore, Uwe Boll, I don't care how much evil you've done in my name, I will not help you get an Oscar.